One early December, they were heading back from a trip to Seoul - an expedition so Suzy could see all the Christmas decorations decking every shop window and street corners. Suzy was already eight by then, but had still squirmed and whined at the late hour that she had wanted to sleep held in her mother's arms. She slept in the front seat, held in safe arms despite the fear the pitch black of the night brought with it. It was one of those days that was darker than ever from the get go. The whole world seemed coated in a mist so thick that seemed to want to swallow all that moved within it whole. The lights of their small car could hardly cut through but they went on anyways, tired but happy on their unpleasant way home.

Unpleasant it stayed up until a swift end. Suzy doesn't remember much - just the world turning into an amusement park of horrors. The car spun itself into a damning teacup ride as lights fragmented through windows like a kaleidoscope miracle after the dark that came before and surely came after. Suzy remembers screaming, at least she thinks she does, remembers her father's deep voice telling them to brace once he remembered wife and child were not wearing seat belts. She remembers her mother's shrill voice, shattering the way the glass did as they stilled with a final impact against the side of the highway. Then the lights go off and pain filters in with it's reds and purples, so deep and dark and seeping so surely they eclipse all else as she feels herself unravel.

Her next memories are of clean, pure white. Of absolute contrasts. There's no sounds where she is, there's no one there, there's no warm embrace or the sure comfort of her parents. She can't see anything but ceiling and walls, nearly blending into each other as her head can't seem to turn further to see beyond the heavenly white. Someone had strapped her into a bed, bandaged her whole, bound her in from neck to ankles. She tried to speak, tried to scream out for her mother, for her father, anyone, anyone at all.

She awoke, not knowing when she had fallen asleep or how long had passed. Suddenly the white room was filled with shadows - with doctors and men in suits, all with clinical worried expressions but not fully from concern, no, from fear too. It took days for her to piece herself and it all back together. Broken and nothing close to what it had been before. They gave her the news in scraps, littered through a week that would follow her through her lifetime. Her father had died, her mother was critical but stable, probably paralyzed for life - and Suzy was not the ordinary little girl she had thought she was.

She remembers exactly when normal ended for her. When they took away the bandages to show her own skin unwind just the same. She had resisted help at first, not wanting to be torn away from her mother and each of the hundreds of cuts she had sustained finished tearing through her whole just to reach towards the only thing she knew to be safety. They broke needles trying to sedate her, nurses were injured by how vicious her grip was and Suzy learnt she was now made of only sharp edges and flexible steel. The Safe Haven had to be called and were now - to teach her all she had to know. To help her keep herself together.

That's how life in Seoul began. Moving in with her uncle and aunt who had not come visit once and rarely took her to visit her mother in the hospital. They feigned concern in front of neighbors but their true disdain was clearly there. Oh the burden, the bother. They had enough to deal with, children and lives of their own. Now this, what a personal tragedy this had become to them. It only became worse when Suzy's mother moved in as well - confined to a wheelchair and in need of special care they nearly always refused to provide.

Despite being so young, Suzy grew to know realize what injustices were and knew very clearly her life was one. No family should be left to rely on others the way they had to - withstand abuse simply because of wealth, of age, disability, because of anything. Suzy would want to fight, would want to let herself unravel and bring justice with her own hands but her mother never let her. Keep it inside, she said, it is good that you care, it is good that you want better, harness that, prove them wrong with it. Beat them at their own game with even better tactics.

All her anger went into volleyball instead. Joining teams up until highschool where she made one herself, needing somewhere to vent aggression that felt solid, that felt real and tangible unlike confined rooms with tendrils of silk blades slipping out of her. And the rest of her anger went into studying. Eunhye would mock her for it all - thinking her so worthless it would be impossible to make something out of herself. That's what pushed Suzy to become class president almost each year she was in school, to volunteer where she could until suddenly she was offered full rides to every university she had applied to before graduation season was even upon her.

But what fully changed things for her happened on the most unexpected of nights. Suzy was not the type to usually go to parties. She was liked well enough at school, had friends who would invite her but lack of money and general disconnect from her peers never made it seem worthwhile. But college was just around the corner and she had studied long and hard enough. Maybe she could be normal, fool herself for one night hidden behind the wide rim of plastic cups and between blending faces of kids pretending too. She failed at even that though, somehow ending up catching the attention of a girl who's mere presence filled up every corner of any room she stood within. The one person who stood honest no matter what.

Suzy would never forget their first kiss, chiming in the New Year not knowing they were sealing a promise that this is how they would spend the rest of their year - and then years to come, with promises of whole life times together. Jiyeon was a strength and support Suzy never knew she needed until it was there. Their differences worked perfectly to push them forwards in a life that would not stop with it's injustices and difficulties but was one they could grow stronger within it. They could make the changes they wanted to see in the world. That's what kept Suzy going - her love, her anger, her hope for better.

Moving to America seemed the natural step forward once she graduated. Columbia had accepted her to do her j.d in law, with another assured scholarship a plan was formed to move there for a better life not just for herself, but with Jiyeon and eventually her mother as well. Suzy hit the ground running, finding jobs, internships and an organization that would help her right the wrongs of her life and then help her do the same for others.